top of page

How to treat a Queen in the bedroom this King’s Day (and every day)!

Updated: Apr 20, 2023

With inequalities like the orgasm gap, our Queens may be getting royally screwed. Your favorite modern-dating, taboo-breaking webtoon — vanillacooldance is here to make sure that doesn’t happen.

King’s Day is the Dutch celebration for King Willem-Alexander’s birthday. It’s also a big day for drinking, flirting and …the unbridled hope of getting laid. But with inequalities like the orgasm gap, aren’t our Queens just getting royally screwed? I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen.

According to a study 95% of straight cisgendered men say they have usually or always orgasmed when sexually intimate. This is in comparison to 75% of lesbians and cumming in last place only 65% of straight women. This number drops even further when it comes to one night stands with only 40% of straight women reliably orgasming. Why do we just accept this and where does this come from? Some of my theories below:

  • Heterosexual male-centric mainstream porn

  • Poor sex education in general and don’t even get me started on it’s lack of LGBTQ+ integration

  • The myth that women should achieve orgasm in the same way that works for men

  • Women being unaware that their pleasure is valid

While this article focusses on tips to help close the orgasm gap between straight men and women, much of what is said below can be applied for same-sex couples as well.

So here it is. Vanillacooldance’s tried and true 4 Royal Etiquette Tips on how to be a true king in the bedroom.

Royal Etiquette Tip 1: A true king knows the lay of the land.

Did you know that contrary to what is displayed in mainstream porn, most women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone? It took me years to realize that I wasn’t weird and that in fact only 15% of vulva-owners can orgasm solely from thrusting. Yet somehow 92.4% of women are able to orgasm from mastrubation. How cum?

Well, when masturbating women mostly focus on cliteral stimulation. Or use a toy that has both external and internal stimulation. So you might say that the clit is pretty important to achieving the big O.

Now here comes the other crazy statistic. In a recent survey, more than a third of people in the UK couldn’t correctly label this beautiful, magnificent, orgasm-inducing part of the female body. And if you can’t locate it, how the heck are you supposed to explore it?

You can see the tip of this beautiful organ underneath the clitoral hood. But the largest part of it extends underneath the vulva.