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A True King Knows Toys are Friends not Foes (enemies).

A new King's Day means vanillacooldance is back with a new way to help close the orgasm gap.

If it's your first time here, let me get you royals up to speed.

According to a study 95% of straight cisgendered men say they have usually or always orgasmed when sexually intimate. This is in comparison to 75% of lesbians and cumming in last place only 65% of straight women. This number drops even further when it comes to one night stands with only 40% of straight women reliably orgasming.

This gap is largely influenced by societal and cultural factors, such as gender stereotypes and lack of sex education. In addition, there are physical differences between male and female anatomy that affect the ability to orgasm. You can read all about that in my previous blog.

The good news is that there are plenty of ways to help Close The Orgasm Gap, and one of the easiest ways is by incorporating sex toys into your sex life.

Toy are your greatest allies in the bedroom

Kings, repeat after me…"Toys are my friends." They are not your enemy or a substitute for your penis. They are an extension of your royal arsenal and you should be jumping to bring them into the bedroom.

They are a way to enhance pleasure and explore new sensations together. Since 85% of people with a vulva cannot orgasm from intercourse alone, bringing a vibrator into the bedroom is a great way to get clitoral stimulation while having intercourse. It's something Queens can do for themselves or Kings can get involved with too.

Communication baby

Creating open communication with a partner about pleasure, desires, and intimacy is key to these kinds of conversations. It's important to establish boundaries and communicate your limits before incorporating toys or vibrators into your sex life. Some things that can help:

  • Start the conversation outside of the bedroom when you are in a comfortable and relaxed setting.

  • Let your partner know that you're interested in exploring new ways to enhance pleasure and intimacy together.

  • Ask lots of questions to find out if your partner has any desires of their own.

  • Ask if they have experience with toys or vibrators, and if they're open to trying them out with you.

Which toy to pick from the royal pleasure chest?

Here are some options to find the perfect toy for you:

🔥 Bullet vibrators: Great for those starting out. These small, discreet vibrators are perfect for clitoral stimulation during intercourse. They can be held in place by either partner and are easy to use.

🔥 Wand vibrators: Wand vibrators are larger, more powerful vibrators that are great for external stimulation. They can be used to stimulate the clitoris, nipples, or other erogenous zones during foreplay or intercourse.

🔥 Couple vibrators: These vibrators are specifically designed to be used during intercourse. They're typically worn by the woman and can be inserted into the vagina to stimulate the G-spot, the clitoris, and the penis.

🔥 Remote control vibrators: Give away control - in the best way possible - to your partner! Let them turn you on (literally) with a click of a button. The vibrating egg can even be controlled outside of the house for some extra playful activities.

🔥 Clit suction vibrators: My all-time favorite! Clitoral suction-style vibrators are sex toys with nozzles that use air pressure to generate suction force. They can be held against the clit by either partner during intercourse

🔥 Cock rings: These toys are worn by men during intercourse. They provide vibration to the clitoris or perineum, while also helping to maintain a stronger and longer-lasting erection.

When incorporating toys into your sexual activities, it's important to use them effectively to maximize pleasure. Here are some tips:

  • Lube lube lube! Use plenty of it. To make things much more comfortable and enjoyable.

  • Start slow and build up intensity.

  • Experiment with different levels of pressure and vibration.

  • Don't be afraid to communicate with your partner and give feedback on what feels good and what doesn't.

Positions to get into

  1. Missionary: Use the vibrator to stimulate the clitoris while engaging in vaginal penetration.

  2. Cowgirl: Let your queen use the vibrator on her clitoris while she rides you.

  3. Doggy Style: Use the vibrator to stimulate the clitoris while engaging in rear-entry penetration.

  4. Mutual masturbation: There's nothing that gets me going more than watching my partner or having them watch me. This can be done before, in between or after intercourse and is another fun way to create intimacy with toys.

But don't limit yourself to these positions - get creative and find what works best for you and your partner.


Lastly, it's important to properly clean and store your toys to prevent the spread of bacteria and prolong their lifespan. You can clean most toys with soap and water. Be sure to read the instructions that come with your toy to ensure you're using the correct cleaning method!

Now go forth my royals and have a buzzing time this King's Day and everyday!

XX Vanillacooldance

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