Sex swings, whips, and orgies galore – have you ever wondered what truly unfolds behind the curtains of an erotic party? Get ready for a wild ride, because I'm not just taking you along, I'm giving you a front-row seat.
For the past eight years, I've been crafting audacious sex-positive toons that push boundaries. Lately, I've been pushing my own boundaries in the realm of personal exploration. I'm here to inspire you to embrace your curiosities, take daring leaps, and bridge the gap between longing and leaping, as I share my own exploits.
A Seed Is Planted
About a year ago, my friend @thelovedrive posted about a party in Berlin. I remember it vividly because I screen-captured the event! Dress-up parties have always been my jam, but add in some nudity? You've got my attention! This event radiated open-mindedness, and it didn't just catch my eye; it set me on a whirlwind quest to find my first-ever open-minded, sex-positive bash.
Navigating the World of Fetish, Swinging, and Play
I scoured the Netherlands for the perfect event. The world of erotic parties offers an array of choices – swinger soirées, cuddle fests, fetish gatherings, and more. I knew that I didn't want a party where women wore lingerie while their male counterparts sported suits, that brought back too many memories of the 'CEOs and Office Hoes' dress-up parties from my University days. I wanted a party where creativity reigns, where stereotypes go to retire, and where everyone's inner artist comes out to play. And that led me to a more fetish-themed event.
My Quest for the Perfect Party
Finding these gatherings? I didn't just sit around waiting for an invite. I put it out there, loud and clear. I plastered my curiosity about attending such events all over my bio on sex-forward dating apps. I had candid conversations, shamelessly discussed my desires, and before I knew it, I was in touch with the organizers of the party I eventually attended.
With a surge of confidence that would make a charging bull proud, I snagged myself a ticket. The plan? To either find a date to go with or boldly go alone!
Flying Solo, with a Friend, or with a Partner?
Decisions, decisions. Each with its own thrill. Going solo meant diving in headfirst with no strings attached. Definitely empowering while also pushing the limits of even my comfort zone. Going with a friend felt like it might be an awkward affair. And in the end I chose for going with a date which came with its own set of enticing possibilities – shared intimacy and a built-in partner-in-crime for the night.
Prioritising Consent and Safety
Before leaping into the unknown, let's talk about the two pillars that hold this whole adventure together: Consent and Safety.
Originally, I was prepared to venture into the wild world of erotic parties on my own. And while my journey might not be a universal roadmap, the event I attended made these principles a priority. With their comprehensive guidelines and Instagram polls that were both over-the-top and informative, it felt more secure than the average party.
As an A+ student, when it comes to safe play, I did my research. Condoms are of course essential, but other aspects like oral sex protection weren't as clear to me. So friends and the internet provided helpful tips such as asking people to wash their hands before playing with you and bringing your own foils / dental dams. Communication and boundary-setting is key and depending on the party you go to, the organizers should provide certain items themselves.
Let's Talk About Sex, Baby; Let's Talk About You and Me
Before the party, I took time to reflect on my desires. My main goal was to go in with an open mind, seek inspiration, figure out my turn-ons and turn-offs, and simply explore. It's worth noting that many enjoy the party's atmosphere without engaging in any play at all.
My date and I had conversations about whether we were on a reconnaissance mission, just observing and exploring, whether we wanted to only play with each other, or if we were open to inviting others to join us. And if so, to what extent? These conversations weren't just explorations of our desires; they were sparks that ignited our excitement – although, perhaps, a touch prematurely... but more on that soon.
Leather, Latex and Looks That Kill
WHAT DO WE WEAR!? Was the first thought that went running through our minds as this was both of our first time's attending a party like this. Luckily, the event came to our rescue with dress code details and even Pinterest boards filled with outfit inspirations and no-nos.
Now, if you've been following my previous escapades, you know that stepping into a new experience confidently means looking and feeling my best. That's where VoyeruX, a local gem from Amsterdam, comes in. Their leather pieces are a work of art, seamlessly blurring the line between everyday wear and fetish fashion.
Confession time – I was head over heels, dare I say a touch obsessed, with my chosen look. While these are definitely investment items, given their beautifully handcrafted leather, there are ways to dress for these parties on any budget. If you're on the hunt for stylish yet budget-friendly options, a quick Google search will open up plenty of choices. Platforms like Etsy also offer some amazing selections.
Speaking of outfits, let's not forget about my date. Mr. "Not-So-Latex-Lover" wasn't exactly jumping for joy at the prospect of leather. In fact, he agreed to go to the party with me before he knew the dress code. So, he went with a mesh top and shiny short shorts. And let me tell you, I discovered a newfound love for men in tight mesh 🥵!
And so, with looks to slay, intentions aligned and boundaries discussed, we were ready to party!
Entering Erotic Wonderland
As the night approached, a blend of anticipation and anxiety filled the air. Instead of heading straight to the venue at 11:00 PM, we opted for a detour – a pre-party to help us ease into the atmosphere.
Then we were off!! The first thing we noticed when entering the venue, besides the electrifying atmosphere buzzing with anticipation was that the party felt… like a party!
A DJ playing techno beats, people dancing, the bar buzzing (albeit with far too long lines), and conversations flowing. Everyone was open and easy to talk to. In fact, living in The Netherlands, where nobody talks to anyone outside of their own group when out, it was a welcome surprise! Amidst the sexual undertones, there was a sense of normalcy which put us both at ease and made us feel really welcome.
What set this event apart from typical parties (At least in Amsterdam) was the absence of stereotypical party enhancers. A different high – genuine connection and self-expression.
Wax play, latex shows and shibari workshops took the stage. And venturing into uncharted territory, I decided to partake in a Shibari workshop. There I was, center stage. While I gracefully flowed through the first two minutes, plot twist it dragged on for what felt like forever after the initial rush faded. Oh well, #ForThePlot!
The stage was surrounded by a massively diverse mix of people in all different outfits. From full body latex suits to harnesses and being butt ass naked, you saw it all. I appreciated the inclusive atmosphere but one thing was impossible to miss. The overwhelming amount of men in the room. Remember me on my high equality horse and all? We'll come back to this in a bit.
The Mysterious Dark Room: 50 Shades Meets DIY
After performances and dancing, the Dark Room was opened. And BAM expectations met reality with a stark contrast. Instead of the dimly lit alcoves where dancing and intimacy are seamlessly merged from my fantasies, we were hit with a different reality. More men than a Vegas poker table, and décor that could only be described as '50 Shades meets DIY.' Definitely not the exotic wonderland I'd imagined.
So, after a small trial to get into the groove, we opted to leave the official erotic party at 3:00 am for a party of our own at home. But not before a Cool Dancer recognised me and came to say hi!
Reflections and Revelations
Ok, ok, sometimes your values don't align with your desires. My pursuit of finding an inclusive event where anyone could attend regardless of relationship status or gender ended up in a very imbalanced ratio. So in the future, I'll look for parties that are couples + single women.
And remember how I chose a kinkier party, all in the name of having men dress up too? While I did appreciate the effort — I'm not entirely sold on latex. But it did still inject creativity and fun into the mix, just like I had hoped!
I also changed my thoughts about going with friends. You can party together, have a blast, and if you make connections with others, part ways and reconnect later.
And now, the moment you've been waiting for – the grand finale, the ultimate ratings:
Hype: 10/10
Our looks: 15/10 (Thanks VoyeruX!)
The Party: 5/10
The Dark Room: -20/10
After party: 69/10
In the end, an evening filled with exhilaration, laughter, and pure unadulterated fun. Rest assured, this won't be my last venture into the world of erotic exploration.
So there you have it! If you're considering taking a dip into a similar scene, my advice is simple: go in with an open mind and be ready for a ride that might just redefine your notions of pleasure and empowerment.
Would love to hear your experiences in the comments! And any other adventures you'd like to see Vanillacooldance take.
